FMA: Scariest Places on Amestris
by yoo-hoo luver.wlegs
Summary: A random Halloween fic based off of those halloween realtiy shows and Tucker is the host! Join your favorite characters as they investigate the Asher Reed Asylum. r&r please
1. The victimsI mean investigators

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or the concept of taking char.s to haunted locations. **

**A/n: Usually I do not write using current lingoes and technology, but by gummit, this fic is completely random and meant to make you get in the Halloween mood. Please Enjoy!**

XXXXX

In the void of darkness, chimera-fied Shou Tucker steps out from behind a tree. A flash of lightning illuminates the sky, revealing a large, intimidating brick building. There is a glare on his glasses from the lightning that gives the State Alchemist a terrifying look. And the grin on his face says that he's thinking of making a new chimera out of the youth reading this text.

"Good evening," he begins in his soft, spine tingling voice that makes small children sleep with night lights on for months, "And welcome to this week's presentation of Full Metal Alchemist: Scariest Places on Ametris. I am your host, Shou Tucker the Sewing Life Alchemist. Behind me is one of the most haunted locations in Ametris, The Asher Reed Asylum.

In a moment, you will hear about this building's bloody past. But first let us meet tonight's team of victims…I mean… paranormal investigators.

First of all, the two obvious choices for this… fic: The Elric brothers, Edward, the Full Metal Alchemist, and his little brother, Alphonse…"

All attention is focused on the Elric brothers, who are sitting in chairs in a completely different (and better lit) room. Al waves to the readers and Ed smirks as he slouches in his seat.

"I guess you can say we don't believe in ghosts." Al begins, "The science of alchemy leads us to believe that everything has a purpose. Spirits don't exactly have a purpose."

"It just doesn't make any sense, you know?" Ed adds, rubbing the back of his head, "According to equivalent exchange, it is simply impossible. We're only doing this because we were told we'd get another lead as to how to get our bodies back."

"That and Mr. Tucker gives me the willies." Al admits with a sweat drop.

Attention shifts back to Tucker standing in front of the asylum long enough to introduce the next guests, "The Ishbalan agent of death, Scar."

Scar is seen sitting in the same room Ed and Al sat in, looking quite sexy, despite the situation. He takes off his sunglasses, revealing his blood red eyes. "Life after death is no laughing matter." He explains, "We all hope the souls of our dead go to Ishbala, but some lack the faith to do so. There is something out there in the night, and if we meddle with it, we will suffer the consequences. However, this is a major gathering of state alchemists, how can I resist a chance to pass judgment?"

It shifts back to Tucker, long enough to introduce Roy Mustang as a member of the team.

"Normally I don't bother with this kind of stuff but any chance to see Hawkeye in a skirt I take." He explains.

Attention goes back to Shou Tucker who, to no surprise, introduces Hawkeye and Black Hayate as the next members of the team.

"Who else is going to watch the Colonel?" She asks, justifying the reason she is affiliated with this project. "Dogs usually have keen senses when it comes to the paranormal-if you can call it that. This pup'll bark sometimes late at night and nothing will be around. I don't buy into any of this spirit world stuff, but if Roy Mustang thinks he's getting me in a mini skirt, he can think again."

"Alex Louis Armstrong," Tucker says in his creepy voice.

Armstrong flexes his muscles for the readers as sparkles run abound. "The art of communicating to the spirit world has been passed down in the Armstrong family for generations!" he cries as he flexes some more.

"Winry Rockbell," Shou ticks off the names on his list.

"Sometimes, when I'm working on automail designs late at night, I can feel someone watching me. And I've heard stories about this place." She shudders, "It's extremely creepy."

"And lastly…Gracia and Maes Hughes." Tucker introduces as a collective cry of 'HUGHES!!!' rips through the night from the many distraught fan girls of Maes.

Attention is turned to Mr. and Mrs. Hughes who are sitting hand in hand, smiling at the readers. "Having a small daughter, Maes and I have learned one thing when it comes to spirits:" Gracia begins.

"A teddy bear scares them away! And look! Here is a picture of our little angle Elysia on her tricycle!" Maes finishes, flashing a picture of their daughter to the readers.

"But seriously, Maes and I both believe that there is something out there." Gracia continues, placing a hand on her husband's out stretched arm as a quiet way of saying to him now is not the time. "There was an entity in the first house we owned. We don't know what, but we would set things somewhere and then it would be gone, only to appear in the most unlikely place."

"But it didn't really intimidate us." Maes continues with a grin, "It was more organized than we were."

The room fades out and once again all attention is turned onto Tucker. "Join us, if you dare, as these nine go into the asylum and investigate the hauntings. They have until day break…if they survive…" he trails off and breaks into a manic laugh, "hahahahahahahahahhha…hehe..hoho…lol…te he…" he pauses and then as a flash of lightning lights the sky he gives a smile with hidden malice, "You've been warned…"


	2. The history of the asylum

A little baby doll sits on an old faded cherry wood chair with a deep red velvet seat. Her little pink pinafore and deep brown curls are immaculate-untouched by human hands though cobwebs were numerous. Though a little creepy, not to mention random, it is a calming sight.

Out of no where a streak of lightning lights the sky and Tucker appears in the chair in lieu of the doll.

"Welcome back. I hope you enjoyed the commercial break. I am Shou Tucker and I am sitting in what is considered Amestris most haunted building, The Asher Reed Asylum.

In a few moments, the Elric brothers, Scar, Colonel Mustang, Winry Rockbell, First Lieutenant Hawkeye and dog, Major Armstrong , Gracia Hughes and Maes Hughes will enter this building for the night. They will attempt to investigate the hauntings until dawn…if they survive, that is… But first the history of this place.

Note, our team of investigators are hearing this as you, the readers are…" Shou trails off and attention is turned to a small room, on the edge of the grounds of the asylum where the group sits listening to Tucker's voice speak over the radio.

Black Hayate sits on Hawkeye's lap, keeping his little keen eyes on Scar who sulks at the back of the room. For the safety of the other team members, the Ishbalan was forced to wear oven mitts shaped like cows and sign a waver saying he could not kill anyone in the group.

"Welcome all," Tucker greets, "You are sitting in the groundskeeper's house and for the purposes of this project this'll be your HQ. You will be going out in twos to investigate certain rooms in the asylum. In the end you will have to determine which room is the most active.

And now… the history…

Before the house came to be a nut house, it was home to a well to do family called the Thatchers. The house itself was build by Hans Thatcher, a prominent businessman for his young wife, Caroline. Caroline was fourteen when she married Hans, who was forty at the time."

"That's sick." Winry speaks up with a shudder.

"They were in love," Tucker continues, "However, the love did not last. Caroline gave birth to several children; all but one was still born. Due to this, it is said that Hans found comfort in another woman's arms and when Caroline discovered this, she took an axe to him and his mistress as they slept and then flung herself off of the fifth floor balcony. It is rumored Hans still walks around the third floor, the axe forever in his back and Caroline is still seen on full moons, flinging herself out of the balcony. And some say in the west wing of third floor you can hear the cry of all Caroline's dead children, making up for their silence.

The one child who survived, Gryteman was his na-"

"Gryteman?" Ed scoffs, "What kind of a name is Gryteman?"

"Swedish," Tucker informs to everyone's surprise.

"Sorry I asked." Ed mutters under his breath.

"He took over the house after his parents' untimely death and used it as a brothel and unethical alchemy experiments-"

"Look who's talking…" the Elric brothers mutter under their breaths.

"-On the women of the night…three boobs, two "ladies" in one…legend has it his women of the night still are around, still bound to the house that caused them so much pain.

Oh, and ladies…Gryteman is still here too, roaming the halls…looking for fresh flesh…I suggest you ladies stay together on the ground floor and basement…unless you're feeling a little…_you know_…"

Beside Hawkeye, Roy slips on his ignition cloth gloves with a hard glint in his eye.

After Gryteman died, the house sat vacant until a man named Bubba bought the house. His ownership didn't last long, though; he was killed by acorns…not the brightest moment in the history of man…"

"I'd say…" Hawkeye says with a shake of her head.

"After him, a family turned the house into an inn and it is reported that a little boy named Randolph traveled here with his family. But during his stay, he became deathly ill. Since the house's location is in the middle of nowhere, Randy's mother went to fetch a doctor…but she was too late and now Randy's remains lie somewhere on the grounds. His spirit lives on, though. The boy is seen in the windows and particularly on the second floor staircase, looking for his mother to come back with a doctor.

He liked to play tricks on the guests and in turn… the patients. Beds will levitate and rattle, he'll blow into your ear…and it also seems that several nurses and doctors reported feeling a child tug on their lab coats.

The place got its name from the inn owner's son, Asher. Asher suffered from a type of sickness that made him act like a simple child. He needed constant supervision, could barely speak and eventually it became too much for the family. They donated the inn (along with Asher) to a bunch of doctors and eventually the house became a place for the mentally unstable to live in and be cared for.

Of course, I trust you all know of the horrible condition these patients lived in. Many-if not all died in this very house."

"What happened to the place?" Scar wonders walking closer to the group and radio. Black Hayate barks at him, warning him to stay away. Scar's question is answered directly from the radio.

"As years flew by, funding got scarce. The asylum had to close down almost fifty years ago due to unlivable conditions and lack of funding. But it is said that the spirits of the patients, and some of the asylum's staff still roam the halls in the form of shadows, just observing.

Your first assignment will be radioed to you shortly. Be safe…"

A clap of thunder sounds followed by a flash of lightning and the radio goes dead silent. The group sits, letting the decades of horror and all around unpleasantness seep in. It slowly dawns on them what exactly they got themselves into…

**A/n: Around the turn of the century, science was just beginning to advance and unfortunately, many mentally handicapped people were thought to be insane and put in insane asylums. I thought I would put this aspect into the FMA world as well. I apologize if it offends anyone. I did not intend it to be so.**

**Also, the name Gryteman is not Swedish in orgin…it comes from the desert of my mind…**


	3. Ed Armstrong & Black Hayate investigate

The group sits in silence, wondering what they should do. The room is a small place, unheated and lit only by a small candle. On a table sits what Gracia can only describe as a type writer attached to a screen and a host of other strange objects.

Mrs. Hughes stands up and silently walks over to another table where refreshments sit as her husband whips out a picture of their daughter. Maes was determined to break the silence. "Have you guys seen our little Elysia lately? She's growing so fast. Look," He extends the picture to Winry. "Here she is having a tea party."

Riza stands and looks over Winry's shoulder. She furrows her brow thoughtfully. At length she asks, "Who is that with the earrings and floppy hat?"

"Oh," Al speaks up with a small sweat drop, "Brother and I were babysitting her one night and Elysia wanted to play tea party. Her favorite doll broke so brother dressed up as Mrs. Cumbergail." At this Roy muffles a laugh but fails and falls to the ground repeating "Mrs. Cumbergail".

"Al," Ed begins in a voice that says he's keeping his anger in check. "I thought we destroyed the pictures."

"Coffee anyone?" Gracia cuts in.

"Don't mind if I do, Mrs. Hughes." Tucker's voice says over the radio. The startled group jumps and Tucker can be heard laughing. "Ooh, I gots you good."

"Damn it Tucker," Mustang curses, "You better have a reason for this."

"The time has come. Time has come for Major Armstrong, Black Hayate and…little Mrs. Cumbergail to investigate the first site. I'm sure you-"

"Who are you calling tinier than a crumb not big enough for a mouse to eat?!" Ed yells, waving his arms and angry veins the size of his head pumping furiously. As he rants the thought occurs to him what Tucker referred to him as and automatically he picks up his rant crying, "Who are you calling Mrs. Cumbergail you bastard?"

Tucker continues to speak despite Ed's string of profanity. "On the table there are… various forms of coffee and goodies. Enjoy them as I explain the contents on the table next to it."

The group turned to look at another table, the one with all of the equipment on it. The silence was broken by Armstrong taking a bearclaw from the refreshment table. "These pastries have been the favorite of the Armstrong family for generations!" He declares.

"The contents on the other table will be your lifelines to HQ. I will explain how to use the equipment only once, so pay attention. As for you, the readers, I will not bore you in telling this to you as well. So I implore you to turn on your radios and/or music. Listen to a song or two and when you return, _we will begin_."

XXXXXXXX

"All done then, dear readers?" Tucker asks over the radio.

"Who is he talking about?" Winry wonders as she helps put cameras and harnesses on Ed and Armstrong. Hawkeye is busy trying to get a leash on her romping dog. It seems during the brief break, Roy slipped the pup part of his doughnut, resulting in a hyper Black Hayate.

"In moments we will send these three out into the asylum." Tucker explains. "You three will go to the third floor and create several paranormal tests. Maes, you will be at the laptop, guiding them. Now go. Hahahahahahahahahaha-heheheheheh-lol and all of that good stuff…" Before the team can answer, the radio goes dead.

XXXXXXX

Armstrong, Ed and Black Hayate climb up the second floor stairs. The house itself is a massive dilapidated building with ages of dust. Over their walkie-talkies Maes Hughes guides them.

"Pause right here, guys." Hughes instructed as he reads off of the papers he has with detailed instructions. "This is the staircase where the spirit of the little boy Randy is reported to be seen. Some times, when an item connected to the time when a spirit lived, it may compel the spirit to interact with it. In this case, we want to entice Randy. Armstrong, I want you to put the toy in your bag on the stairs. On the landing there is a chair facing the stairs. Put the ball on the landing in front of you and start talking.

Ed, you will proceed to the first room on your right with the dog. Give me a holler when you find it."

The two comply and climb the stairs to the third floor landing where Armstrong sits in the aforementioned chair, placing the ball in front of him.

As Ed walks down the hall he hears Armstrong talking. "Randy, it is I, Alex Louis Armstrong…" Ed turns the corner into the room and Armstrong's voice fades away.

"Alright, I'm here." Ed informs Maes.

"Ok. You're standing in the master bedroom. According to legend, this room is where Caroline gave birth to her stillborn children and supposedly the room where Caroline killed her husband with an axe.

There is a phenomenon called EVP. Electronic Voice Phenomenon. In this exercise, you're going to record yourself talking and when we play it back at HQ, hopefully we will pick up some sounds you did not hear when you were recording it." Over the walkie-talkie, Roy's voice is heard. "Tell him his prompt."

"What is he talking about?" Ed wondered with a cocked eyebrow.

It is Hawkeye that answers. "Tucker believes you'll get a response if you talk using the emotions that were running through Caroline and Hans during these two events. So you need to talk like you just caught the love of your life cheating on you."

"What? I'm an alchemist, not an actor!" Ed protests as Black Hayate barks wildly at the barred window.

"Ed," Maes begins, "Why is the dog barking?"

Ed shrugs, though he knows nobody could see it. "He must hear something by the window. It must be open, its getting really cold in here." He stands up as the dog continues to bark. As he walks over to the window, he feels somebody blow in his ear. Even though he is a trained alchemist and child prodigy, Ed can't help but jump and give a yelp.

"Ed? What happened?" Hughes demands from the other line.

"Nothing." Full Metal lies, dismissing it as only his imagination or the wind and pulls back the curtain. "It's sealed."

"What?" Maes asks.

"The window is painted shut."

"Turn on your recorder, Ed." Maes instructs.

Ed turns to encompass the entire room. He guesses it was lavishly decorated at some point in time, but now it was simply a room with a wooden chair and wire framed bed. He has no doubts that the room was converted to a cell for a patient. Black Hayate is looking curiously at the bed now as Ed sits on the old mattress.

"Come on, boy." ED coaxes but the dog goes as far as a few feet from the bed and sits, as if saying he will go no closer.

"Ok." Ed sighs as he sets his recorder next to him, "Lets get this over with."

XXXXXXX

Armstrong looks into the camera. Though he has a calm look, given the situation, he is sweating. "I've been coaxing the spirit of Randy to come out for about twenty minutes, now. So far, there is no movement of the toy or ball. But I am sweating like I'm in an oven."

He pauses as he hears a clatter down below and turns to the camera. "I just heard some thing fall a few floors below. Almost like somebody dropping a glass vase. I don't like this house. Not one bit." He shifts in his chair and falls silent for quite some time, scanning the camera across the landing. With in moments, a small sound, like a giggle is heard and the ball visibly rolls from one end to the other. Armstrong waits a moment and goes to where the ball was, checking to find any curves in the wood that would make the ball roll. However, there is none to be found.

Armstrong returns to his seat and turns to face the camera. "Looks like he's come out to play after all."

XXXXXXX

Ed, Armstrong and Black Hayate have been sitting at their posts for forty-five minutes by now. And in the master bedroom, Ed is really getting into his assignment, forgetting the fact that the recordings are to be played back. Riza's dog had stopped his barking but still will not go near the bed despite all of Ed's coaxings.

"I can't believe how many years I've wasted on you." Ed whispers and pauses for a response. "But all I want to know is why?"

"Ed!" Maes's voice calls over the walkie-talkie, causing Ed to jump five feet into the air. "Time's up. Back to HQ, let's see what you and the major have found."

XXXXXXX

Several minutes later, the three have returned and are relating their experiences, or in Ed's mind, lack there of.

"I distinctly heard glass breaking in the lower levels." Armstrong explained, "And as you can see on the screen the ball moved by itself." He points to the video replaying of the ball moving.

"Perhaps there was a dent in the floor?" Winry suggested.

"No, I checked. The floor is as straight as sure as I come from a long and powerful line of Armstrongs. And there was a giggle before the ball moved."

Gracia replays the footage and Scar nods. "I hear it."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ed pipes in, "This is irrational."

"So you found nothing, brother?" Al questioned.

"Well, the dog barked when we entered the room and wouldn't go near the bed."

"Dogs are said to have a keener sense when it comes to this stuff." Hawkeye says quietly, as she gives Black Hayate a bone for a job well done. "Whether or not I believe it is another matter."

Maes, who is listening to Ed's EVPs turns around in his seat. " I think you all should hear this. Tell me what you hear." He plays back a bit of where Ed was began reciting the elements on the periodic table. Full Metal explains as the recording plays that he was running out of ideas. Within moments a piercing cry of a new born baby is heard on the recording.

Maes assures then that is not the last of it as he plays the part at the end where Ed expresses his unbelief of the years wasted. _"I can't believe how many years I've wasted on you."_ is followed by an angry female whispering.

"It sounds like she's saying 'look whose talking, ass'." Scar interprets as Maes plays it again.

_"I can't believe how many years I've wasted on you." _

_"Lookwhosetalking, ass."_

All color drains from Gracia's cheeks. "I hear it."

The group falls into an unsettling silence, as they begin to comprehend what it is they are tampering with…

XXXXXXX

All attention is on the stairs where Ed and Armstrong just investigated. Tucker stands on them now, with a grin that could be described as nothing else but creepy.

"Come back next chapter as the second assignment of the night goes to Hawkeye and the Flame Alchemist. This composed right hand woman and the man with the miniskirt plan will brave the ground floor and the basement in search of the abominations of the night and their "aching" master." He laughs a malevolent laugh, "Bullets and flames won't protect these two from the succubuses and the incubus of the Asher Reed Asylum…"


End file.
